Hey Nicole quick question: Who’s your favorite on American Idol this season?  Loves ya

Tammy McVein, Buffalo NY

Well hello there Tammy from the land of the Bills! Oh, and the Sabres, but who really cares about the Sabres?  Like really.  The Galleria Mall has higher attendance on a Monday afternoon than they do on game day.

Anyhoo…

Thanks for writing pretty lady and to answer your question I’ve never really been a fan of glorified karaoke shows but  since you asked…

My favourite on American Idol is hands down Paula Abdul.

And to continue on this discovery ride in Nicoleland, please, everyone, riddle me this:

When did Paula Abdul transform into a severely handicapped person, and why is she still on television?  Seriously, what happened?  I remembered her from gooders like Opposites Attract and Spellbound all singy singy dancy dancy., and heard she was a judge on Idol.  Like I said, I don’t watch the show, did for the first time the other night and holy shit!

(whisper) Was there an accident?

I jest, only because she is so obviously on drugs, and stark raving drunk, which completely pisses me off.

Barry Bonds got slack for doing drugs on the job, got tested, and is getting the equivalent of his pageant crown taken away.  How is that fair?

Do Paula!  Take away her judging!  She can’t be properly critiquing these idol hopefuls when she can barely speak.  And if I want integrity and professionalism in anything, it’s my reality TV God damn it!

Really, I feel bad making fun of a self inflicted handicapped woman but I find double standards and catch 22’s absolutely maddening.

Idol does charity projects like “Idol Cares” and programs where the cast go visit schools and they actually bring her!  As what? Has Paula Abdul turned into the new tossing an egg into a frying pan and saying “Kids, THIS is your brain on drugs?”  Well hey, if that’s the case, and toting around the obviously pickled from vodka carcass will make one kid NOT want to end up like Paula Abdul being verbally raped on live TV by Simon Cowell weekly, then I guess I found the light at the end of the codeine and valium encrusted tunnel.

Thanks for the message Tammy,

Keep Laughin’

Nicole