I always have a blast doing interviews all over the world but there’s just something extra fun about being on a show where they randomly play “Guess the Tattoo” with me, and the chat topics range from sports, to a guy who enjoys wearing panties, to have you ever messed around with a girl within a few sentences.  And, of course it’s always good times when the hosts are funny, cute, and seem like people you’d totally be friends with.

So… onto my topic for today that sprung from a conversation we had on the show.

Would you rather be hot or funny Nicole?

My answer was… FUNNY.

They asked: “Really?  Try telling the little fat girl that it’s not important to be pretty in this world, and that you don’t and haven’t gotten a ton of opportunities because you’re hot.”

And here comes my thoughts, that I shared in part with them on the topic of: IS THE WORLD EASIER FOR PRETTY PEOPLE?

My answer: NO.

I firmly believe that everyone, yes everyone, has a completely equal lot in life, and life always finds a way of balancing itself out.

Yes… really.

And I’m sure someone is ready to throw something at me right now, but hold the phones oh hot headed ones at least until you let me explain… and what better way to explain anything than a CHART!  I love charts!

ok.

“PRETTY GIRLS”  VS “UNATTRACTIVE GIRLS”*

*I put those both in quotes because beauty is so subjective and always in the eye of the beholder.

Obviously I’m messing around with this, but I think ya’ll can get my point.

There’s two sides to every coin and at the end of the day, people are people and we’re all just trying to make our way through this crazy superficial world while learning lessons and having a good time.

Be nice, be cool, be fair, be funny.

Love ya all,

Nicole xoxo  

It’s almost here, opening weekend for You Might As Well Live, the feature comedy I go handi-capped girl in.

WHY YOU SHOULD COME THIS WEEKEND:

1. It’s opening weekend, which means the box office numbers are extra
important to decide how many cities it’ll play in when it goes to wide
release.

2.  It’s seriously funny as heck. I WOULD NOT lie to you.

3. It’s Canadian, and I don’t mean Canadian tv’sih. I mean the funniest fucks
in the world are Canadians, come support this amazing cast so they all
don’t have to move to America.

4.  I’ll be at the 7pm screening at Bloor tomorrow, and the 9pm screening
at Bloor on Sat. Come by and say hi, I very seriously hope to meet all
of you one day, and like the woody snow owl, I only come out twice a
year. (Ok I’ve been watching too much Planet Earth) Here’s the
screening times in Toronto for this weekend!

FRI

AMC Yonge & Dundas 24
11:15 AM
1:15 PM
3:15 PM
5:15 PM
7:15 PM
9:15 PM

Bloor Cinema
7:00 PM

Canada Square (FP)
4:50 PM
7:40 PM
10:00 PM

SAT

AMC Yonge & Dundas 24
11:15 AM
1:15 PM
3:15 PM
5:15 PM
7:15 PM
9:15 PM

Bloor Cinema
9:15 PM

Canada Square (FP)
2:45 PM
4:50 PM
7:40 PM
10:00 PM

SUN

AMC Yonge & Dundas 24
11:15 AM
1:15 PM
3:15 PM
5:15 PM
7:15 PM
9:15 PM

Bloor Cinema
4:30 PM
9:30 PM

Canada Square (FP)
2:45 PM
4:50 PM
7:40 PM
10:00 PM

Thanks a bunch for all the continued support.

See you soon,

Nicole Arbour

Why stupid? It’s used as an excuse to fight and separate us.

I’ll start with religion.
Take every religion there is, heck even atheists would agree with me on this, all religion is based on the simple principle of be good. But, because of people’s egos it’s become twisted and corrupt
.
And sure what is “good” may differ slightly from Christianity to Muslim to Judaism but the fundamentals religion to religion really aren’t very off, which makes fighting over it as ridiculous as fighting over varying opinions on what animal you see in the clouds.

I swear when I see fighting over religion in different parts of the world on the news, it makes me think they really need some sports teams.

If you need something to root for, a way to pass time with friends, or something to feel apart of, cool, just don’t be an asshole about it.

I dare you to try and convince a Yankees fan that their team is all wrong and it’s a sin to believe in them because the Red Sox are the way, the truth, the light.
It’s just not going to work, you’ll probably get your tires slashed, and just like the world wouldn’t be as interesting if everyone believed in the same thing, the MLB would be pretty boring if there were only one team in it.

And, a fight in the stands at a soccer game and Holy War don’t seem that far off to me. In both cases it’s fanatical behavior, messing up what could be enjoyable for everyone.
Assholes.

Imagine if everyone said, “Hey, you and I, we believe in different things… that’s cool, live and let live”, God damn (yes I did that on purpose), this would be a better place.

So… I think the new world religion should be tolerance, and that’s why I use imitation ignorance with a side of silly to promote that.
I think that we should all poke fun at each other, all the time. It’s what families do, it’s what friends do and it’s even in the bible that Jesus did too.

It’s why I could never really take a blonde joke seriously when I was blonde. It would be absurdly silly to make a judgment on someone’s intelligence based on the colour of their hair. It’s just pigmentation of follicles people! Or in a lot of cases peroxide. A chemical.
How could I ever take someone’s comments about me being dumb because I have certain follicle pigmentation to heart?

Sure there must have been a crap load of stupid blondes in the past for the stereotype to be around, but it doesn’t upset me because that’s not me, and that’s not who I am.
So I laugh at the jokes, and will always give props for a good one. ☺

Stereotypes are funny, (Dear Black Power fighter, and I know there’ll be one to read this, I don’t’ mean racial profiling so cool your J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets) because they are based on common knowledge and truth.

DUH!

We laugh at stereotypes because we identify with them, and every racial and religious group makes fun of the others. Every one. Don’t lie. I’ve seen old Chinese men make fun of a Muslims berka, calling it a bed sheet. They know it’s not a bed sheet, they were just being silly. There’s no need to be offended at it.

THAT is when we have things like racially driven wars. When we take this shit too seriously.

I happened to win the genetic lottery by being born in an affluent, culturally diverse country where I had food and water and shelter all my life.
I could have been African, or Chinese, or North Korean, yes there’s a difference between China and North Korea and if I were to pretend I don’t know that, I’m JUST KIDDING.

And if I were born African and someone asked if my name was (make tounge click noise), I’d probably say, “No that’s my Dad’s name, I’m (touge click) Jr.” Because I know that is them trying to identify with me, have fun, and communicate in the only universal language of joking and laughter. It doesn’t hurt, because THAT IS NOT MY NAME.

NO ONE WITHOUT A HUGE EGO IDENTIFYING WHO THEY ARE WITH THE WAY THEY LOOK OR WHERE THEY WERE BORN OR WHAT GOD THEY BELIEVE IN SHOULD CARE ABOUT BEING SILLY.

STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY!
Everyone believes in laughter, so why not believe in laughing at yourself!

The Simpsons has revolutionized television and it is one big stereotype. That’s why we love Homer so much. He consistently pushes the stereotypes and we laugh at how ridiculous he sounds.

We’ve all met an Apu, a Marge, a Flanders, a Comic Book Guy, or a Karl and Lenny duo.

And by using these cultural stereotypes so openly, The Simpsons disarms any judgment or hate that could possibly have been linked to them in the past, and evens out the playing field.

DISARMING is the best way to invoke tolerance. Ever.

That’s why I’m a huge supporter of the Gay Pride celebrations and against Prop 8 in America. Years ago, when the gay community had to be underground for fear of being run out of town, beaten, or worse, there was mystery to them, which caused fear in heterosexuals.

The only fear is of the unknown.

You can’t be scared of something you see, something that’s regular to you, that you KNOW does not cause you harm. That’s what we consider normal.

So… let gay people get married, have kids, have public celebrations, and any other right that everyone else has. That way in the future when a kid asks what a gay person is, the answer can be “They are just like us, but they love a person of the same sex.” That’s it.

And I hold that same principle to the N word. I am calling it the N word only to be sensitive to those who may still be effected by it, although I don’t believe they should. That word, which actually meant black, but was a slur to mean “one who is ignorant”, used to be used by white slave drivers to black slaves.
It is part of history, a sad history, but one that defined the people of that time.

Notice I said “that time.”

I’ve never had a slave, neither has anyone living in my family. I have many black friends, and they have never been slaves. That is not part of our generation, and we need to stop living in and paying for the mistakes of others.
We’ve made the choice to sit in the negative, to sit in defense mode and it’s just not working.
There’s still so much pain linked to a word that has no personal experience linked to this generation, and I can’t help but ask why we’d want to leave it like that.

The N word meant ignorant, and ignorant means not educated, so let’s educate everyone. Let’s disarm this word and take away it’s power once and for all.

I’m sure the first time you heard FUCK, you giggled, or were like “Oh no that’s a bad word!” But, after sitting through 15min of Dane Cook’s stand-up, and it’s lost it’s meaning, and shock factor.

I can’t pretend that I know the pain some families must have faced linked to this word nor would I even pretend to, but what I do know is it’s time to take the hate out of it.

As any psychologist would agree, in order to take the power out of a trigger to a traumatic event, you need to confront it. Over and, over and, over and, over.

Live in it, hear it everyday until it no longer has a meaning. Educate people, (EVERYONE) tell people what it means in the definition, the historical context of it, what used to be associated with it, and how now, it’s just a word. Because right now the next generation may just grow up thinking it’s a slang term only rappers and black people can use to each other, and that would be sad.

Well, I’ve reached the end of my rant for now, but something tells me there will be more. If you have any questions about what I wrote, please feel free to ask.

I only ask that people take these few things into consideration not just for what I wrote, but for life in general.
*Just because you may not have heard of something, or an idea before, does NOT make it wrong. We are always learning. (The first time we ate solids, we used our hands, till we were introduced to the spoon)
*Be open
*Be respectful

But most of all: Follow the rules of Kindergarten
-Be nice
-Be friends with everyone so you get invited to all the birthday parties
-Share
-No hitting
-Don’t eat the paste
AND ABOVE ALL… HAVE FUN ☺

Keep Laughin’
Love,
Nicole Arbour

Kristina Spence
________________________

May I start with a great big OMG, I love the role reversal of the guy saying you need to use one. That happens maybe once a millennium, when there’s a full moon, and leprechauns come riding in on unicorns to release the fairies that have been trapped in Perez Hiltons lair of doom giving him super bitchy fairy powers.

My thought on condoms, I think they are funny. (No surprise considering I find almost everything funny) But condoms especially, I think make for amazing social awkwardness.

Why?

What’s a condom? It’s a baggie for your man bit. A plastic glove for your love septor.

When do you wear plastic gloves? When you think something is gross and you don’t want to touch it.

So common sense, which isn’t really that common these days, would make us think, “Hmm, if I find that (lady or man part) gross, and think it could be diseased, why the hell would I go near it at all?”

Condoms are like saying, “I think you’re hot, I want to do you, but I think you might be a dirty dirty hoe bag, so I’m going to wrap my junk in cellophane just incase.” How romantic.

And on the romance front, it is impossible to be romantic and use a condom. Impossible. All hot and heavy, and the moment of “do you have a condom?” comes up…

If the answer is yes, then you must locate said condom, get it out of it’s (tear here), when there’s no where to friggin tear packaging. Roll it on, oh shit it’s inside out. Roll it on the other way. Oh no he lost his “happiness”. Remove condom, try to bring back happy because without it it looks like an old, wrinkled, angry, dwarf.

Hot.

But if the answer is no, I don’t have one. The real fun begins. Simultaneously you begin to size each other up. “Ok, I just met this chick drunk at Republik, or some other stupid place that spells their name with the wrong letters to sound edgy, an hour ago. What are the chances she’s a skank?” And the girl, “Ok, well I’m sure he’s a nice guy, he like, bought me drinks and had bottle service, who am I kidding, the guy’s a loser, I’m going to give him a fake number when I leave, but I’m drunk and horny.”

Followed by the, “Have you ever had anything?” As if either one of them would tell the other at that point.

Why yes actually, says the man, my extra phalange has been infected multiple times, and the sores are still there, but you’re too wasted to notice!

So, you weigh your other options of not trying to drown your sorrows and validate your worth with random encounters while you search for a bread bag, because nothing says I respect myself more than doing it wonder bread bag styles.

But Nicole, what are you suggesting? Don’t use condoms?

No, no, I’m suggesting that you know the person you’re doing for long enough to go to a dr together and get checked. Condoms don’t protect against most diseases anyways, you can still get pregnant, (shout out to my favourite Friends episode), and having something for the rest of your life isn’t worth it the few mins of OOO ahhhhhs. But if that sounds like too much trouble to you, do go forth and enjoy your Rubbermaid sex, in all of it’s strange, squishy, wet flipper, sounding glory.

Thanks for writing Kristina,

Keep Laughin’

Christian M
________________________

Ha!  I love the irony of a guy named Christian placing a judgment like that.  Gotta love organized religion.  And, any guy or girl should count themselves lucky to have anyone check out their ass, ever.  One day we’ll all be fat and saggy and old and the only one looking at our asses will be our Dr.’s, so quit your bitchin’!
 
And to answer  your question Christian, I really really must disagree with you.  I think it’s Fab-U-Lous to have “fags” in the army, and here’s why.
 
The Uniform:  You think it was the army brats from the southern states that turned camo into a fashion statement already twice in my lifetime?  Hells no!   Them bati boys have worked the fabric and made the army chic. 
 
The re-building in Afghanland:  FLASH FORWARD>>>
Ok, so all the countries have helped to liberate the war stricken nation… now what?  Those Afghan women have been under them berkas for years, and I’m sure it can’t look, or smell very pretty under there.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, no man will have the energy for silly things like Holy war when they just ravaged their lady (or man) friend.  Ow ow.
And, if reality and make over tv has taught me anything it’s that gay men can turn a train wreck into a supermodel, and generally in just a few hours.
Keep those a la lain’ guys busy, and there won’t be need to return to the desert.
 
The Scare Factor: It’s called propaganda bitches.  I think it’s time to use people’s ignorance against them, you know, the way the news does.
 
So I propose we drop thousands of flyers over enemy lines that say “We love brown men”, with a pic of gay men straddling a tied up terrorist type.

Let them think if captured they won’t be tortured; they’ll be anally raped and let go.  And while we’re at it, tell them if you look a gay man in the eyes, you’ll get AIDS.    Forget Iron Man, and huge bombs, THAT will scare them.
 
Wow, I think I should run for president.
 
Anyhoo, thanks for writing to me Christian, hope we can agree to disagree, because I honestly believe everyone should have the right to get married, serve your country, and feel safe being themselves, no matter what they stick where.
 
Keep Laughin’
Nicolexoxo